"Everybody say Happy Birthday to the blind girl"

I love to procrastinate. I'm pretty good at it, too - I've been practicing for over 26 years now (I was born two full weeks past my due date). My latest feat was waiting until June 15th to get a Texas driver's license to replace the Ohio one that expired on my birthday (today). What intelligent citizen doesn't put off waiting at the DMV (or in Ohio, the BMV, and in Texas, the DPS)?

So I went on the 15th, waited for 3 hours, only to fail the vision test. Keep in mind, I've never had glasses or contacts, so I was flabbergasted (to say the least). I told the woman, "I think there's something wrong with your machine. I can't see anything in the left column." The woman responded, "No, honey, I think there's something wrong with your left eye." I was sent home with a letter stating that the state of Texas believes I would be a safer driver if I could see better.

So, dutiful citizen that I am, I went to the eye doctor this morning, where I was diagnosed with astigmatism in my left eye. My vision in that eye is 20/50, and wouldn't you know that 20/40 is required for an unrestricted license. My right eye is still 20/20 and accomodates for the bad eye quite nicely - at least some things don't get worse with age (yet)! I needed immediate remediation to pass the driver's license vision test this afternoon, so I was fitted with contacts. Err, I mean, a contact. Aaaaaand they didn't have my exact prescription in stock, so I'm about 10 degrees off. I don't know all the terminology and technical aspects of astigmatism yet, but apparently I need a 180, but all they had was 170 and 10. 170 made the world look blobby/fuzzy/awful, so I have a 10 in right now. Just enough to pass. We even practiced reading lines of numbers in the optometrist's office. I feel like I'm cheating the system, but I think I'm okay with that. I get to go back next Friday to get the correct lens, at which point I'll also have to decide if I want glass. Not glasses, mind you, but glass. Maybe I'll just get a monocle and keep it in my car.

I think I'm most annoyed about the restriction on my license, since I truly believe I can see just fine when allowed two eyes, which is the case 99.99999% of time. The exception is, of course, the driver's license vision test. But now I have joined the ranks of the rest of my immediate family - at least in one eye.

By the way, the title is a direct quote from my professor, who interrupted class when I arrived - late, after spending 3 hours at the DPS - to wish me the best on my 26th birthday.