Grad student's butt
I was at Starbucks for seven hours on Sunday. Seven. In a row. I outlasted at least 25 people, including two of my classmates. And what did I have to show for it? I managed to outline three articles for my thesis and stress about the 17 other articles I had yet to read for the coming week. (By the way, it is now Tuesday and I only have 16 to go!)
I remember hearing as a kid that if you sat around too much you'd develop "secretary's butt" - you know, where it becomes all soft and hangs off the edges of your chair (great visual, I know). I always tried to avoid getting it - mostly by chasing my sisters around the house, annoying the heck out of them and my mother. "It's ok, Mom, I'm not gonna get secretary's butt! Don't mind the crackers I just ground into the rug when I ran by!" These days, I don't really have a choice. If I don't sit on my butt all day reading and trying to retain gobs of information, I run the risk of an equally serious disease - "getting kicked out of grad school on my butt." It's an interesting balancing act, trying to avoid both. I just have so much work to do all the time, I can't help but sit down. I feel guilty taking time off to work out sometimes. Can you get secretary's butt if you're sitting on an exercise bike, reading an article about the brain localization of coin tossing?
I think I'll rename the epidemic - "grad student's butt." Secretaries get enough flak as it is. At least now when I finally get through this program I'll have more than one thing to show for it. "Stop looking at my grad student's butt - I have a diploma now!" Then I can work that butt right off, trying to make it in the real world.
5 comments:
I have definitely begun getting grad student's butt. I worked my ass off last year to lost 10lbs and I've gained 5 back already just from being "tired" and "having too much work" I think that grad school is somewhat a legit excuse because if you're anything like me, if you don't get your work done, you freak out (i know that is definitely the opposite of how i was senior year but i wasn't paying for school then). So I say, CELEBRATE THAT ASS BECAUSE THAT ASS WILL BE "DR. ASS" TO EVERYONE ELSE SOON!
Ok, now I'm suddenly afraid of my decision to go back to school. Then again, Clare says I have a small ass, so maybe it could be a blessing in disguise. As for your question on my blog, I'd have to say yes, wait until Clare feels you're mature enough to understand what a good plate of penis means and then have her explain it to you.
Joel will never get any sort of "butt." I definitely got secretary's butt in Atlanta. The secret to getting it off? Meth. I mean, you don't have to sleep AND you get skinny. JUST KIDDING!!!
Not any sort of butt? Not even butt football? That's a cryin' shame.
By the way, is it weird to post a comment on your own blog?
yes, its okay to comment on your own blog, you self-centered chotchface. Just kidding. It's appropriate blog-havior as I like to call it.
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